I worry a lot about that, too. The only thing that helps me not stay frozen from fear with my own daughter is that ruptures in relationship will always happen — what counts is the repair. I'm always eager and ready to apologize, offer affection and talk about how I want to do better next time ... whenever I haven't met my own standards, parenting or otherwise. And I do think that will count for something in the years ahead.
So beautiful, Amanda! I'm in the midst of reading "Women Who Run With the Wolves" for the first time, and so much of what you write here hits the same notes.
"I keep her picture next to me so that I never forget that we all have layers inside our stories. And no one can ever know the full truth of what we experience." I love the nuance and poise of this beautiful essay, Amanda!
We are all layered in complexity but most of the time we forget. We look around and take things at surface value and, incorrectly, judge what we see based on that without taking the time or doing the work to go deeper. This is a great call to widen our perspective and open our heart.
Stories like your aunt/ dad’s about their mother always make me worry about how I’m messing up my own kids. 😱
May we all have a grandma redemption arc!
I worry a lot about that, too. The only thing that helps me not stay frozen from fear with my own daughter is that ruptures in relationship will always happen — what counts is the repair. I'm always eager and ready to apologize, offer affection and talk about how I want to do better next time ... whenever I haven't met my own standards, parenting or otherwise. And I do think that will count for something in the years ahead.
It will in the future and it even does now, Amanda.
So beautiful, Amanda! I'm in the midst of reading "Women Who Run With the Wolves" for the first time, and so much of what you write here hits the same notes.
Sometimes it is not about who the person was, but what they mean to you.
Her story your storytelling both amazing.
"I keep her picture next to me so that I never forget that we all have layers inside our stories. And no one can ever know the full truth of what we experience." I love the nuance and poise of this beautiful essay, Amanda!
We are all layered in complexity but most of the time we forget. We look around and take things at surface value and, incorrectly, judge what we see based on that without taking the time or doing the work to go deeper. This is a great call to widen our perspective and open our heart.
I needed/ need to hear this. Today and everyday. 🧡
First of all, this piece is magnificently written. We all fu** up in life. YOU are your grandmother's redemption, Amanda.
This was a lovely read.